Paying Homage

This past week has been weird, filled with physical and emotional purging, and this pending lunar eclipse energy. Being a Cancer (and an empath), I have always been affected by the lunar phases - giant waves of emotions and feelings that for a long time I did not know what to do with... until recently.

I have been re-learning where to properly channel all of this excess energy in creating, writing and physically moving. As a child, I naturally understood what to do with these energies even though I did not understand the energies fully. I danced it out - which is why I spent close to 30 hours a week either in the studio or dancing in the living room. I would put on a deep lyrical song and release all these energies into a form of art. But then as I grew up and took on the typical adulthood responsibilities, I had forgotten that I needed to channel out all of these energies that were collecting inside of me.

Looking back at those years now (from roughly 18 to 23), I realize how much I was not in my Truth. I had stopped dancing, had not yet found my purpose, gained tons of weight and did very little creatively during those years. Thank God that moving to LA was on my path at the end of that stretch - the move sparked my creativity again that had been dormant for too many years. 

Back to this past week... weird. Tons of strange emotions running through me that I needed to get out of me. Old Heather at 22 would have just gone for the dessert (that used to be always in stock, hidden away in drawers or nooks - as in if I hid it from myself, I would forget it was there and not eat it. Side note, I never forgot it was there) = weight physically gained from over indulging in the "hidden" desserts. New Heather just pulled out a yoga mat and did a few rounds of vinyasa and wrote two blogs = weight released off shoulders and mind.  

All of this dawned on me halfway through Surya Namaskar B. The fact that I had chosen to hit my mat rather than indulge on sugar was a huge growth step. I took a moment and sat on my mat to acknowledge my growth and journey. I thought "Wow. Things really are changing." And just as I was getting impatient that I am not where I want to be just yet re: life. What a Lila. So blessed to have had this mindful experience to really put things into perspective. Life is always changing and moving forward, but what good is any of it if we're not paying attention and paying homage to our little growths that help mold the overall journey?